It is 10:34 pm on a normal Saturday night here in Boston. Normal except for the fact that the universe as we know it is coming to an end. Well ok, maybe it is just another New England snowstorm - but according to the weather reports on the local news, this folks, is the end of the world.
I have spent the past 26 years in New England and one thing that I have gotten used to, is that each winter it snows. A lot. That's life in the northeast, and I have learned to live with it. Granted it can be an inconvenience at times, but I have never been stuck for days anywhere. Nor have I ever lost any small children in giant snow drifts, had to shovel my way out of a third story window, or had to snowshoe to the local high school gym for shelter. At worst, I have had to shovel my car out. Maybe once or twice I had to cancel some plans, and once I even backed into a snowdrift and had to push my car out. But somehow I have managed to live through it all. I don't want make light of the weather's effects completely because I am sure that every time there is a snowstorm in New England, some people die, and that is sad - but let's get some perspective here.
That being said, it is really hard to take these god damned local weather reports seriously. It is a fucking blizzard. It sucks. But for Christ's sake....do we need a 2 hour special on CBS called "The First Alert Doppler Extreme Team Report"? I shit you not, that is exactly what is on right now and it consists of about 4 or 5 different reporters in 4 or 5 different locations around the state, each with the same report. "Man Ted, it is REALLY snowing here in [insert city]. I mean, it is REALLY snowing". Wow. Thank god for WBZ news, I was just about to go out for a jog and I didn't even think to look out the WINDOW.
In Boston, there is ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox (probably like most cities) and each station's weather promo and setup is more ridiculous than the last.
Fox 25 - Fox is normally head and shoulders above the rest when it comes to making a huge deal out of a minor issue, but as of this writing they are showing Mad TV while all of the other stations are in full freak out mode. I think this is why i love Fox local news.
CBS 4 - WBZ takes the cake for sensationalism when it comes to weather reporting in Boston. Fox takes that prize for everything else. Their 2 hour special tonight and the "First Alert Doppler Extreme Team" is beyond absurd.
NBC 7 - Hands down the winner in the over the top, intense, graphics department. Where they lack on "the sky is falling" sensationalism, they make up ground in intense graphics and whooshing sounds. Their "Storm Force" graphic is quite effective when it comes to creating panic, and more importantly informing us that they are reporting on why you should panic "in full force".
ABC 5 - "STORM TRAK 5" is run of the mill. Except for the spelling. Would it kill you to put the "c" in "track"? Weather isn't cool, and dropping the "c" doesn't make it any cooler. Check out this ridiculous promo for local channel 5. Brilliant.
We all get it. It's snowing. All I am really able do tonight is to sit inside and watch tv, so please don't ruin that for me too with constant weather updates about how much snow is falling - it's all I have tonight. Just show me some crappy made for tv movie and let me ride this one out in peace.