First Alert Storm Force Doppler Net Tracker Extreme Team Force Watch Trak 5

It is 10:34 pm on a normal Saturday night here in Boston. Normal except for the fact that the universe  as we know it is coming to an end. Well ok, maybe it is just another New England snowstorm - but according to the weather reports on the local news, this folks, is the end of the world.

I have spent the past 26 years in New England and one thing that I have gotten used to, is that each winter it snows. A lot. That's life in the northeast, and I have learned to live with it.  Granted it can be an inconvenience at times, but  I have never been stuck for days anywhere.  Nor have I ever lost any small children in giant snow drifts, had to shovel my way out of a third story window, or  had to snowshoe to the local high school gym for shelter. At worst, I have had to shovel my car out. Maybe once or twice I had to cancel some plans, and once I even backed into a snowdrift and had to push my car out. But somehow I have managed to live through it all.  I don't want make light of the weather's effects completely because I am sure that every time there is a snowstorm in New England, some people die, and that is sad - but let's get some perspective here.

That being said,  it is really hard to take these god damned local weather reports seriously. It is a fucking blizzard. It sucks. But for Christ's sake....do we need a 2 hour special on CBS called "The First Alert Doppler Extreme Team Report"? I shit you not, that is exactly what is on right now and it consists of about 4 or 5 different reporters in 4 or 5 different locations around the state, each with the same report. "Man Ted, it is REALLY snowing here in [insert city]. I mean, it is REALLY snowing". Wow. Thank god for WBZ news, I was just about to go out for a jog and I didn't even think to look out the WINDOW.

In Boston, there is ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox (probably like most cities) and each station's  weather promo and setup is more ridiculous than the last.

Fox 25 - Fox is normally head and shoulders above the rest when it comes to making a huge deal out of a minor issue, but as of this writing they are showing Mad TV while all of the other stations are in full freak out mode. I think this is why i love Fox local news.

CBS 4 - WBZ takes the cake for sensationalism when it comes to weather reporting in Boston. Fox takes that prize for everything else. Their 2 hour special tonight and the "First Alert Doppler Extreme Team" is beyond absurd.

NBC 7 - Hands down the winner in the over the top, intense, graphics department. Where they lack on "the sky is falling" sensationalism, they make up ground in intense graphics and whooshing sounds. Their "Storm Force" graphic is quite effective when it comes to creating panic, and more importantly informing us that they are reporting on why you should panic "in full  force".

ABC 5 - "STORM TRAK 5" is run of the mill. Except for the spelling. Would it kill you to put the "c" in "track"? Weather isn't cool, and dropping the "c" doesn't make it any cooler. Check out this ridiculous promo for local channel 5. Brilliant.

We all get it. It's snowing. All I am really able do tonight is to sit inside and watch tv, so please don't ruin that for me too with constant weather updates about how much snow is falling - it's all I have tonight.  Just show me some crappy made for tv movie and let me ride this one out in peace.

Comments

[LF Coyote]

Well, The Seattle folk who cant drive in the rain are the transplants anyway - what Seattle has a high percentage of it seems - those that move here or the PNW in general to excape the snow drifts (Its why I moved from back east... Oh wait, did I just admit im ONE of those transplants - Darn...) I can drive in the snow and rain at least, heh.

[Mauser]

Well, with the way Seattle drivers are utterly incapable of handing an inch of snow, it IS armageddon. :-)

(Then again, it rains all the time, yet Seattle drives are STILL not capable of handling it).
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[Freed]

The TV stations in California pull this "weather crisis" stuff too, even though our weather is generally milder than anywhere else on the continent (that's why most people move here; to get away from crappy weather somewhere else). I've lived here for 55 years and the weather hasn't changed - only the frantic reporting - except for one thing. There is more flooding these days. But its not really due to weather. Its planning departments that cave and allow homes to be built in areas they know are unsafe, or, allow the natural flood channels to be choked down to allow more building.

[Jimmy Havok]

Reminds me of when it snows in Seattle. Granted, it only snows once or twice a year there, but when it does, they spend most of the news hour with location shots of reporters saying, "It's really coming down in Mukilteo!" with the Mukilteo Junior High sign behind them so you know they aren't in Wenatchee.

Then the whole city acts like an inch and a half of snow is Armageddon, as if it hadn't happened last year, exactly the same way.